Disability Pride month is every day for this household. Every day we think about what it would be like to have two hands, two elbows, to not be called out by other kids who are just curious (after all, it’s “different” right?) Every day we get inside of our heads and try to rationalize how to fit in. We try to understand if we are good enough, and sometimes we try to conceal that we’re anything but, and hide what’s “missing.”
I know this month is Disability Pride month, but it is one thing to advocate, and another thing to live it. In this household we ARE proud, but it’s hard. Especially when we’re dealing with the mind of a child. After all, there aren’t any DC or Marvel superheroes with a missing arm or leg. We don’t get to see it or hear about it every day through media or pop culture. Let alone, when it comes to sports or the Special Olympics that everyone hides or tunes out. Those incredible athletes barely get sponsorship and have to work full-time jobs to support their training. FACT.
How we hide “being different” from society, especially when it comes to physical disabilities, is what needs to change, in order for us to really be proud. Maybe then the life of a 13-year old would change. “Why am I different?” Why should you be different or “disabled” at all is my question.
My adopted brother, Julian, is here every Summer for what we call a transformational moment. Where he gets to run, play, be reminded of his strength and talent, his intelligence. Get 100 hugs a day. Be told he can do anything he wants to in life. But you know what? I’m struggling this Summer. And it’s the first time I am.
He is coming into an age where he’s becoming a pre-teen, and it’s becoming even harder to fit in, to be “accepted” in what our society has unfortunately created over the years, which are social groups. He feels the need to constantly defend himself, go into flight/fight/freeze modes when faced with any sort of adversity. Another kid telling him he’s weird looking. Or worse, full on bullying and #cyberbullying that he’s a “one armed freak.”
You know what this does? This puts a child into a sort of rage, because he feels alone. And then before he knows it, he himself is in the culture of bullying. He ends up staying away rather than leaning in, due to fear of backlash or being called out for his missing arm. If he leans in, and gets hurt, he then feels he needs to defend. He ends up just “observing” from a distance, yet in observation, he isn’t actively playing.
Here is Julian, and here is Disability. Pride is something I certainly feel as an adult because I know how smart and capable he is. Does he feel that?
Small Meet Large is on a mission to redefine strength. The abilities he has to go up against adversity at WAY TOO young of an age, is what makes him a superhero with a multitude of abilities. Join me in #DisabilityPrideMonth to remember that his peers (kids) don’t get access to what we all talk about online. Here’s to change.
